The 4 A's to manage stress at home

As a mother of two grade school boys, I have my fair share of stress at home. Beds undone in the morning after kids left for school, dirty dishes on the kitchen counter waiting to be cleared, thinking of what to cook for dinner that will satisfy both me, my husband and my two picky eaters. And the list goes on and on! And it doesn't really help that I'm a working mom. NOT. AT. ALL.

So I've eventually and through time come up with means to deal with the stress. I got my confirmation after seeing this post on my mayo clinic app. There's apparently 4 A's that one uses as a strategy to deal with stress and I've written them below.

Avoid. 

One way to avoid stress, as home makers, is to plan things ahead. I try to plan our week ahead of time, making note of what kind of food will be served for dinner when I'm running late from work. Do we plan to go out this coming weekend? Then I write down the things that we need, including what my kids need, so that we don't rush or forget things on the day itself. If I am more in control, I minimize that chance of unpredictability that will later bother me and will cause my stress. So the best way is to prepare.

Alter

By taking action, stressful situations could be less impactful on your self and you psyche. Up to now I still struggle with my dutch language skills despite having lived here in the Netherlands for a decade. I only felt worse after realizing how much of the dutch language was now needed at my new job. So instead of stressing out and worrying whether or not I could deliver, I took action and took extra time and effort to understand (and translate if needed!) the protocols that I have to follow in order to execute my responsibilities at work. By altering the factors that relate to the source of stress, I'm giving myself the opportunity to manage that stress.

Adapt

It's easy to put the blame on others but one way to deal with stressful situations at home is to adapt to the situations and conditions of others. I live with two boys.. well actually, 3 to be more correct because I'll include my husband for that matter. As women, we tend to be more organized, more structured in our daily routines and face it, we are more neat! I've reached a point where I've learned to adjust to my surroundings at home. I used to clean up the mess right away every time I see one in the house. But now, I wait until the end of the day when I know my kids are already on their down time. When the time comes and we need to visit in-laws or we have a dutch party to go to, I've stopped worrying about how I'd manage a conversation or how I'll mingle with the other guests. through time.

Accept

Sometimes, we hear these words: "It is what it is." And that's true. And that's okay. If we feel the sense of acceptance that certain things are beyond our control, a bit of weight is taken off our shoulders. Some people find this strategy a bit difficult to practice in real life, but a talk with someone to get some emotional support or just to lend an ear may just do the trick. Your partner could be your go-to person, your girlfriend or girlfriends, or even a leader from your community. Talking or voicing out your frustrations and problems, even without finding a solution in the end could just make you feel a bit better.