Dutch habits that still confuse me (even after living here for years) 

Moving to the Netherlands has taught me many things — how to cycle in the rain, survive cold winter temperature in March, and carry groceries like a supermom with one hand while steering a bakfiets with the other.

But despite living here for years, there are still a few Dutch habits that leave me scratching my head or just plain confused. You’d think I’d be used to them by now… but nope. Hindi pa rin (not really)!

So, if you're new to Dutch life (or just curious), here’s a list of those little customs and practices that still surprise me as an expat/immigrant mom in The Netherlands. 

1. The birthday calendar in the toilet
Yes, you read that right. Many Dutch households have a birthday calendar inside the bathroom. And we have one too!  At first, I thought it was just a coincidence in one home — but then I kept seeing it again and again.

Why it’s confusing: I’m all for remembering birthdays, but isn’t the bathroom a weird place for that?  My only guess is… you’ve got time to think while you’re there right, unless you’re on your phone. So maybe it’s somewhat practical?… I dunno.

Speaking of birthday, check out this link as I talk more about how kids usually celebrate their birthdays here in The Netherlands.  

2. The Dutch circle party
You haven’t truly experienced Dutch culture until you’ve been to a circle party, mostly during birthdays. It’s when you arrive to coffee and cake plus a big circle of people where you go around greeting everyone Gefeliciteerd! (Congratulations!). This is the Dutch way of greeting.  Everyone congratulates each other for the birthday of someone else.

Why it’s confusing: It’s very different from our Filipino way of celebrating with karaoke, birthday gifts and a buffet big enough to feed the whole neighborhood. Here, it’s more, um…. contained. And very quiet. But come to think of it, that’s less stress for the host, isn't it?

3. Going Dutch
The Dutch are very proud of their equality — and it shows, especially when it comes to paying. Whether you’re out for drinks, a playdate, or even a first date, expect to split the bill.
Even among friends, they want to split the bill. No one wants to “owe” anyone anything.

Why it’s confusing: As Filipinos, we’re used to having that someone who has invited us, pay for us. Is that a show of love and generosity? I’m not really sure, but I also don’t think that paying for yourself is that bad either. So, I always carry my PIN pass just in case.

4. The love for sandwiches — like all the time!
I swear, Dutch people can survive on sandwiches alone. Breakfast. Lunch. Even during snack time. Thankfully, they take something warm for dinner. But they just truly love their bread which comes an so many shapes, colors and flavors. Just like this video I have below! Check it out. 

Why it’s confusing:  In the Philippines, bread is considered light eating. And it’s rarely seen as something that will be enough to keep you full. So it’s rare to consider that the dutch people would eat it as a full meal.

5. The silence in public transport
Step into a Dutch train and sometimes you’ll encounter a cabin that is a stiltecoupé (silent compartment), a designated carriage where silence is expected. No phone calls, no conversations, no music without headphones. And if you do make noise, someone may politely remind you to be quiet. In other public transports, you'll generally notice the same. That most people do not talk and generally just keep to themselves when commuting.  

Why it’s confusing: As Filipinos, we’re naturally social — and noisy! So when I’m out and about with my friends, we make sure that we’re not any of them carriages when we take the train. 

6. No Curtains... on Purpose
You walk around any Dutch neighborhood, and you’ll notice it: huge windows, wide open, and no curtains. People just go about their day, completely visible to the world — eating, watching TV, folding laundry. Even in the evenings when it’s dark.

Why it’s confusing: Where’s the privacy here? In the Philippines, we close every curtain the moment the sun sets, right? But here, they say it’s a sign of honesty — “we have nothing to hide.” Still, I keep my curtains shut here at home as soon as it gets dark outside.

Final Thoughts
The longer I live in the Netherlands, the more I realize how interesting and more so fascinating cultural habits can be. For me, it felt strange at first. But through time, these confusing customs become familiar. Because that’s what living abroad teaches us — not just how to adapt, but how to embrace what is weird and wonderful. And honestly, it’s what makes this expat life fun and unique. Lekker gezellig!

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